How to Talk to Your Defiant Teen in Redondo Beach & Hermosa Beach

Using Motivational Interviewing Techniques to Build Connection and Trust

If you’re parenting a teen in Redondo Beach or Hermosa Beach, you’ve likely had moments that feel more like a standoff than a conversation. Maybe your teen shuts down, pushes back, or responds with sarcasm to even the most well-meaning questions. Defiance can be exhausting, but it’s often a signal, your teen is protecting their autonomy or struggling to be understood.

At Higher Grounds Management, we believe in meeting teens where they are. One of the most effective, research-backed tools we use is Motivational Interviewing (MI), a respectful, non-confrontational communication style that helps teens explore their reasons for change, without feeling forced or judged.

What Is Motivational Interviewing?

Motivational Interviewing is a therapeutic technique that empowers teens to make positive changes by drawing on their own values and goals. Instead of telling them what to do, MI focuses on listening, validating, and guiding, which helps lower resistance and increase trust.

Why MI Works with Defiant Teens

Defiance often stems from feeling misunderstood, controlled, or criticized. MI creates space for teens to feel heard and respected. It fosters collaboration, rather than control, and helps strengthen the parent-teen relationship.

5 Motivational Interviewing Strategies to Use at Home

1. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of yes/no questions or loaded “why” questions, try:

• “What’s been stressing you out lately?”

• “How do you feel about how school’s going right now?”

These open the door to real conversation and show your teen you’re interested in their perspective, not just their behavior.

2. Practice Reflective Listening

This means repeating back what your teen says in your own words to show you’re truly listening.

Example: Teen: “I hate school. It’s pointless.” Parent: “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and like it doesn’t matter right now.”

This builds a connection and makes your teen feel heard, even if you don’t agree.

3. Affirm Their Strengths

Teens often feel like they’re failing. Acknowledge their efforts and resilience:

• “I’m proud of how you handled that situation.”

• “It shows courage that you’re talking to me about this.”

Affirmations build confidence and reduce defensiveness.

4. Roll with Resistance

When your teen digs in their heels, avoid power struggles. Instead of: “You have to study more,” try:

• “I can see school’s been tough. What would make it feel more manageable?”

This keeps the conversation moving instead of escalating.

5. Help Them Explore Their Own Goals

Rather than imposing your values, help your teen clarify what they want. Ask:

• “What matters most to you right now?”

• “Where do you want to be a year from now?”

This helps them tap into intrinsic motivation—the real driver of change.

Bringing It Home in the Beach Cities

Whether your teen is navigating peer pressure in Redondo Beach or academic stress in Hermosa Beach, they’re facing big decisions in a high-pressure world. Motivational Interviewing gives you the tools to meet them with empathy and curiosity rather than control.

At Higher Grounds Management, we use MI across our in-home counseling, teen therapy, and family support programs to build better conversations and stronger relationships.

Need extra support connecting with your teen?

Reach out to our team at Higher Grounds Management. We specialize in personalized, at-home counseling throughout the South Bay to help your teen thrive and your family grow stronger together.

📍 Serving Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach & the surrounding areas

 📞 (805) 769-7549

 🌐 www.highergroundsmgmt.com